Thursday, July 29, 2004

You Know You’re Getting Older When…


  • Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

  • The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

  • You feel like the night after, and you haven’t been anywhere.

  • Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.

  • You get winded playing chess.

  • Your children begin to look middle aged.

  • You’re still chasing women but can’t remember why.

  • A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.

  • You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

  • You look forward to a dull evening.

  • You walk with your head high trying to get used to your bifocals.

  • Your favorite part of the newspaper is “25 Years Ago Today..."

  • You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.

  • You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.

  • Your knees buckle and your belt won’t.

  • You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.

  • After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.

  • Dialing long distance wears you out.

  • You’re startled the first time you are addressed as an old timer.

  • You just can’t stand people who are intolerant.

  • You burn the midnight oil until 9 PM.

  • Your back goes out more often than you do.

  • Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.

  • The little grey haired lady you help across the street is your wife.

  • You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.

  • You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.



Posted by on 07/29 at 11:54 AM
People Humor • Permalink