Sunday, July 11, 2004

What Your Car Says About You

Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars


Acura Legend - I’m too bland for German cars


Acura NSX - I am impotent


Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires


Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states


Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman


Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp


hevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people


Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people’s reactions when I tell them I have a ‘Vette


Chevrolet Corvette - I’m in a mid-life crisis


Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government


Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather


Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well


Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower


Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car


Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to prematurely ejaculate


Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart)


Ford Mustang -I slow down to 85 in school zones


Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them


Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall.


Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall.


Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.


Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit


Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.


Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.


Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports.


Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.


Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.


Lamborghini Countach - I only have one testicle


Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers


Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above)


Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph


Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole


Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler


MGB - I am dating a mechanic


Mitsubishi Diamante - I don’t know what it means either


Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.


Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stolen this car and I’m going to make a fortune off the parts


Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA’s Ten Most Wanted List


Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena


Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock


Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch thingie


Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me


Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal


Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic)


Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu


Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet


Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns


Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet


Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now


Volvo 740 Wagon - I am afraid of my wife



Posted by on 07/11 at 03:58 PM
People Humor • Permalink