Tuesday, June 15, 2004

New Computer Viruses

Ellen Degeneres virus.............


Your IBM suddenly claims it’s a MAC



Monica Lewinsky virus..............


Sucks all the memory out of your computer



Titanic virus......................


Makes your whole computer go down



Disney virus......................


Everything in the computer goes Goofy



Mike Tyson virus................


Quits after one byte



Prozac virus.......................


Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn’t care



Sharon Stone virus.................


Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it’s there.



Lorena Bobbit virus..................


Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy



Tim Allen virus.........................


Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact



Woody Allen virus.................


Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card



Saddam Hussein virus..............


Won’t let you into any of your programs



Tonya Harding virus...............


Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons



George Michaels virus..............


Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup



Joey Buttafuco virus..............


Only attacks minor files



X-files virus..............................


All your Icons start shape shifting



Spice Girl virus.........................


Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop



Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus...........


Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them



Sonny Bono virus......................


Just when you get to surfing the web, a firewall appears out of nowhere



Martha Stewart virus...............


Takes all your files, sorts themby category and folds them into cute little


doilies to be displayed on your desktop



AT&T virus..............................


Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting



MCI virus...............................


Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus



Arnold Schwarzenegger virus.............


Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back



Posted by on 06/15 at 12:23 PM
Computer Humor • Permalink