Friday, June 18, 2004

Definitions For Parents

Amnesia:


Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.



Dumbwaiter:


One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.



Family Planning:


The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.



Feedback:


The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.



Full Name:


What you call your child when you are angry with him/her.



Grandparents:


The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’r not raising them right.



Hearsay:


What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.



Impregnable:


A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.



Independent:


How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.



Ow:


The first word spoken by children with older siblings.



Pre-natal:


When your life was still somewhat your own.



Puddle:


A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.



Show Off:


A child who is more talented than yours.



Sterilize:


What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.



Top Bunk:


Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.



Two-Minute Warning:


When the baby’s face turns red and he/she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.



Verbal:


To whine in words.



Whodunnit:


None of the kids that live in your house.

Posted by on 06/18 at 11:53 AM
Miscellaneous Humor • Permalink