Tuesday, June 08, 2004

13 Things You Won’t Hear At The Daytona 500



  • "None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth."


  • "Tampax! Get 'cha Tampax here!"


  • "Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race."


  • "Sex with your sister!? Man, that's sick."


  • "My GOD, this is a splendid Merlot!"


  • "Hey, you with the large breasts --out of the way! We're trying to watch a race here!"


  • "Chesterton, be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attaché case, then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone."


  • "What a coincidence, Hank --all my friends are boycotting Hooters, too!"


  • "These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert!"


  • "Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at 'Depends' understand you're looking for a new corporate sponsor..."


  • "Whew! No more beer for me, fellas..."


  • "Filling in for Dale 'the intimidator' Earnhardt today is substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley."


  • "...and now, singing our national anthem --international recording artist Boy George!"



Posted by on 06/08 at 01:29 PM
Sports Humor • Permalink